When Therapy is Most Helpful:

Healing trauma, largely because of how our nervous system relies on co-regulation — the process of feeling safe, seen, and understood with another human.

When we need a “corrective emotional experience” to fill the gaps left by our early environment. For instance, if you didn’t receive consistent emotional validation in childhood, therapy can offer that safe, stable container to rebuild it.

When structured support is essential, often through a specific treatment protocol for recovery. Perhaps it comes from a diagnosable condition like borderline, depression, ADHD, dissociative disorders, eating disorders, or OCD.

Processing complex emotions: Therapy provides a unique space to safely explore, express, and process emotions like grief, shame, or intense guilt that may feel too overwhelming or confusing to tackle alone.

When Is It Therapy or Coaching?

Self-knowledge. Recognizing how unconscious thoughts and feelings trigger certain behaviors comes with self-knowledge. Many of these insights and shifts can happen through other proven methods: coaching, self-help, journaling, meditation, and psycho-education.

Nervous system regulation. Research supports that embodied practices like exercise, physical touch, cold plunges, and somatic work metabolize stress and positively affect mental health in a way that talk therapy alone can’t. You could argue this is work that may be recommended in therapy or coaching, but is still something that is its own “modality” of personal growth and development. You still have to go out and take these actions.

Overcoming isolation. Never underestimate the power of community. Simply being around people you like and who feel good to your nervous system is healing. Connection heals.

Developing self-discipline and motivation. Building consistent, healthy mental and emotional habits often comes down to self-knowledge + commitment, which can be fostered through coaching, habit trackers, or accountability partners without needing therapy.

Learning mental health skills. Improving skills like empathy, setting boundaries, overcoming procrastination, communicating better, and self-regulation don’t always require therapy.

So What Does This Mean for You?

If this sounds like territory that might well be a coaching conversation, you’re right!

One of my favorite definitions of coaching is:

“Conversations designed to engage the client in self-directed learning.”

While this may not sound any different from your expectations of therapy, you aren’t wrong. But importantly, this stance emphasizes client learning above goals.

Therapists can get “turfy” around who is really doing “mental health” work. It’s time we grow out of artificial or rigid distinctions.

Therapy is one answer, but not the only answer.

When you’re looking for mental health and wellness work, do you have a clear preference in whether you’d choose a therapist or a coach? What are your own understandings and distinctions? Would you know where to find one more than another?

Find what resonates with you, commit to practicing it consistently, and lean into a journey that’s uniquely yours.