Let’s be honest: nobody wakes up one morning thinking, You know what would be fun? A deep existential crisis. But at some point — often in midlife — life has a way of grabbing us by the collar, shaking us a little (or a lot), and whispering, Are you sure you’re on the right path?

The question at the core of this crisis isn’t, What does the world want from me? but rather, What does my soul want from me?

This is the shift that defines the second half of life. And if we don’t make it consciously, life has a funny way of making it for us — often through depression, loss, or an unsettling feeling that our once-successful strategies for living just aren’t working anymore.

Why Success Might Not Be Enough

James Hollis, a depth psychologist and Jungian analyst, experienced this firsthand. In his 30s, he had achieved everything he thought he wanted — career, stability, the respect of his peers. Life was good. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, depression hit like a freight train.

Like most people, his first instinct was to ask, How do I make this stop? Maybe there was a five-step plan? A pill? A self-help book with an impossibly happy person on the cover?

But the real question wasn’t How do I get rid of this?

It was:

Why has my psyche withdrawn its approval from the life I’m living?

That’s a terrifying question. It suggests that no matter how much we achieve, if we’re out of alignment with what truly wants expression through us, something inside us will protest. And that protest often takes the form of depression, anxiety, or a gnawing sense of emptiness.

Hollis realized that his depression wasn’t a random malfunction. It was an urgent message. It was his psyche’s way of saying: There is something else you need to do.

For him, that meant leaving a tenured academic position, moving to Switzerland, and completely retraining as a psychoanalyst. For others, it might mean a different career, a new creative pursuit, or simply the courage to stop living according to someone else’s expectations.

Why the First Half of Life is (Almost Always) a Glorious Mistake

The first half of life is about adaptation. We figure out what the world expects from us — parents, teachers, bosses, society — and we mold ourselves accordingly. We build careers, relationships, and identities based on external validation.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We need to develop a functional self to survive in the world. But if we never pause to ask Why am I really here?, we risk becoming mere reaction machines — forever responding to external pressures instead of actively shaping our own lives.

Or, as Hollis puts it with characteristic wit:

“The first half of life is a huge and unavoidable mistake.”

We don’t mean to make mistakes. We just don’t know any better. We do what seems logical, practical, and expected — until something deep within us demands a course correction.

How to Hear What Your Soul is Asking of You

So, how do we actually tune in to what wants expression through us? Especially when modern life is a relentless assault of emails, notifications, and the latest must-have product promising to fill the void inside us?

Here’s the truth: If you wait until you “have time” to reflect on your life’s purpose, it will never happen. Life is busy. The external world is loud. And unless you make an intentional practice of listening to yourself, you’ll be swept up in the tide of daily demands.

Here are three simple ways to start:

1. Set Aside Time to Reflect (Even When You Think You Don’t Have It)

Marion Woodman, a fellow Jungian analyst, used to tell her clients:
“Give me one hour a day to reflect on your life — whether it’s journaling, analyzing dreams, or meditating.”

Most people protest, I don’t have time!

To which she replied, Then you don’t have time for therapy, and you’re not making yourself a priority.

Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

Similarly, when I teach courses on unblocking yourself creatively or getting to know your personality patterns and motivations with the Enneagram, most students struggle with the daily assignments of journaling, reading, or reflecting. Yes, it’s hard to start new habits, but realize that not much changes until you’re ready to prioritize yourself and slow down.

You don’t need a full hour, but even 15 minutes a day — before bed, over coffee, on a walk — can shift your perspective.

2. Pay Attention to Your Dreams (Your Psyche is Talking to You!)

We dream about six times per night. That’s a lot of unconscious processing.Dreams might seem random or bizarre, but they’re actually a direct line to what your psyche is working on. Keep a dream journal, write down any recurring themes, and ask yourself:What emotions did I feel in the dream?What symbols or images stood out?Could this be reflecting something I’m avoiding in my waking life?Dreams are like encrypted messages from the soul. Some of them are just re-processing the day, but many of them are speaking to you from a deeper source. If the soul has found such an ancient, pre-verbal way to communicate with us, we would do well to listen.So tune in that radio receiver. Pay attention.

3. Stop Living in Five-Minute Time Blocks

Modern life trains us to think in short, productivity-driven segments:

Get in the shower (Check.)

Reply to texts (Check.)

Rush to work (Check.)

But when every moment is filled with doing, there’s no space for being.

Want to gain a deeper perspective? Step away from your phone. Go for a walk. Stare at the sky. Let your mind wander beyond the next task.This shift in perception is what allows you to zoom out from the minutiae of daily life and reconnect with the bigger questions:Why am I here?Am I living in alignment with what matters to me?

If I had to justify my existence to myself, what would I say?

You don’t need to have all the answers. But you do need to start asking the right questions.

Final Thought: The Only Real Failure is Not Listening to Yourself

There is no “right” path for everyone. The only real mistake is ignoring the call of your own soul.

And here’s the kicker: That call isn’t always convenient. It won’t necessarily make sense to the people around you. It might even disrupt your carefully planned life.

But when your psyche starts protesting — whether through depression, restlessness, or that persistent feeling that something is missing — pay attention.Because the cost of ignoring it is much higher than the cost of following where it leads.

So, what is your soul asking of you?

Take some time today — yes, even just 15 minutes — and listen. It just might change everything.