Empty space.

Life got in the way, we say.

We live with “purpose” when things are flowing, when we’re feeling strong, when it's relatively easy. Sometimes we read an outstanding book at just the right time, or take a class, or hear a TedTalk. We get inspired.

Then, a crisis hits. We lose a job. Money gets tight. A relationship takes an unexpected turn. Or the job we take with such good intentions turns out to be a cesspool of stress.

Life gets in the way of life.

We flow, feeling totally on course and on purpose and thriving for chunks of time. And then we ebb, for reasons sometimes obvious and sometimes not, struggling in surviving mode.

Cortisol is a naturally occurring steroid hormone that often ignites as a stress response. It’s a good thing to have in your body. It tends to increase when you first wake up, which is partly why it’s advisable to avoid caffeine for the first 1–2 hours upon waking and let your natural cortisol levels rise.

The problem becomes when you start marinating in cortisol. When you’re under the conditions of chronic stress cortisol keeps kicking on — until it can’t or won’t, or your body just doesn’t respond to it. Many things can go wrong, and it’s directly associated with degrees of burnout.

We talk a lot about burnout: the stages of it, certain techniques and practices to break free from it. We talk a lot about stress and anxiety and mental health and wellness.

Here, let’s cut to the quick.

1. Start Where You Are: Clarify Your Values

You Are Here. The first step is to get clear about your starting point. Begin by clarifying your core values. What do you truly stand for? What principles guide your decisions?

A Quick Way In:

Identify Your Top 5 Values: Make a list of values that resonate with you. If you’re unsure, start with a larger list (here’s Brene Brown’s) and narrow it down.

Reflect on How These Values Manifest in Your Life: Are you living in alignment with your values? If not, which ones need more attention?

Gratitude Practice: Reflect on what you’re grateful for in your life right now. Gratitude can help ground you and provide insight into what’s truly important to you. Besides that, it generates positive energy — optimism. I recently spoke with Frederick Pferdt on the Emma Will See You Now show. His case for radical optimism is infectious.

By starting where you are and clarifying your values, you set a strong foundation for setting course in the right direction.

The bottom line is: spend some time here. Do some digging. Nail these down as accurately as you can. It’s worth the effort.

2. Build Your Why: Find Your Purpose

You need to understand your Why. Simon Sinek has made a career by capitalizing on this universal principle with such clarity and command.

This is the driving force behind your actions and decisions. Knowing your Why will help you push through challenges and stay motivated even when resistance arises.

A Quick Way In:

Ask Yourself Avoided Questions: What makes you come alive? What activities or goals give you a sense of purpose? How have I been self-sabotaging?

Reflect on Past Experiences: Consider moments in your life when you felt most fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? What values were you honoring?

Visualize Your Ideal Life: While “idealizing” can lead to plenty of problems, start with trying to imagine a life where you’re fully aligned with your desires. What does it look like? How do you feel? Visualize in your mind’s eye.

What is the space you fill in other peoples’ lives? You may have to ask others for their input on this one. Could be fun.

Your Why is the compass that will guide you toward fulfilling your desires. It’s the anchor that keeps you grounded and focused on what truly matters.

3. Recognize the Influence of Others: Use Feedback Wisely

Which brings us to a complicated subject. The subject of people. While it’s important to receive feedback from others, it’s important to recognize that others often project their own desires, fears, or expectations onto you. Filter the feedback. Use it constructively.

Here are some suggestions:

Trusted Sources: If you seek feedback, seek feedback from people who understand and respect your journey.

Reflect on Feedback: Before acting, consider.

Set Boundaries: Be clear about your goals and communicate them to those around you. This can help protect you from unwanted influence.Your inner voice should be the final authority.

4. Set Aspirational Goals: Experiment and Learn

Your purpose emerges through action. Set aspirational goals, yes. And then take small, manageable steps toward them. This visionary humility is what it will take to explore your interests and refine your path.

Break Down Large Goals into Smaller Steps: Instead of focusing on the end goal, identify smaller milestones that will help you build momentum.

Experiment with New Activities: Follow your curiosity. Try new things without the pressure of long-term commitment.

Learn from Failures: Failure is a natural part of growth. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn more about what you truly desire.

By setting and pursuing aspirational goals, you’ll gain clarity on what drives you and discover new paths to fulfillment.

5. Take Your Desire to Fulfillment: Live with Purpose

Fulfillment comes when you align your abilities, character, and passions in service of something greater than yourself.

Integrate Your Abilities and Passions: Identify ways to use your skills and passions to contribute to a cause or project larger than yourself.

Take Bold Actions: Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Take risks that align with your desires, even if they feel daunting.

Live with Intention: Each day, make choices that move you closer to the life you envision. Small, consistent actions add up over time.

Living with purpose is about making choices that honor your deepest desires and contribute to a life well-lived.

And maybe you can't do this alone and you need a coach. Besides how Emma can help you, we also have coaches on standby. Just sign up for a discovery call and let us know how we might be able to serve you.